LifeTango.com Blog

I periodically get asked, “what are some keys to successfully accomplishing goals?” Two keys are (1) making your goals realistic enough that you can accomplish them while at the same time making them challenging enough that some effort is required and (2) find someone to do work on your goal with.

Making goals realistic has many aspects. One aspect is how difficult the goal is to accomplish. Think of weight training. If you lift weights that don’t require effort, your muscles aren’t put under stress and you don’t gain strength. But if you try to lift weights that are too heavy, you can’t move the weights through the full range of motion, and you give up (so you don’t gain any strength). The key is selecting weights that are just heavy enough to place stress on the muscle, but light enough to enable you to complete the exercise. Goals are the same way. You want something that is difficult enough to require effort (otherwise you won’t be inspired by the goal), but easy enough that you can actually accomplish the goal.

Another aspect of goals is choosing a realistic timeframe for our goals. A day is usually too short–if we only work on a goal for a day, we don’t establish a habit. A year or even a few months is usually too long. Generally speaking, a week to a month is a great time. Does that mean you shouldn’t have any long-term goals? Of course not, but make sure you support your long-term goals with multiple week-long or month-long goals (aka” milestones”).

In terms of doing a goal with a friend, you are more likely to accomplish your goal if you find someone who shares your goal and will work on it with you? Why? First, our motivation waxes and wanes. Sometimes you will be very motivated; other times you won’t be. By doing a goal with a friend, there’s a better chance that ONE OF YOU will be motivated to work on the goal each day (or week, or whatever). As a result, you have less of a chance that you’ll give up. Second, we all want to look good in the eyes of our friends. We are liable to “let ourselves off the hook” and rationalize away our pursuit of a goal–”oh, I didn’t feel good today, but I would have worked on my goal had I felt better,” or “the goal wasn’t really that important to me anyway.” But none of us want to look like quitters in front of our friends, and quite honestly, our friends are less likely to cut us slack. As a result, we’re more likely to stick to our goals.

So this New Years, put yourself on a path to success by setting a goal that you can accomplish in the next month, and find a friend to work on your goal with. If you do, you’re much likely to accomplish your goals.

Oh, and Happy New Years!

Brent

Something I’ve noticed in my own life (and perhaps you’ve noticed in yours) is that sometimes (perhaps often), we tend to look at what we don’t have and fail to appreciate what we do have.

I live in a fairly affluent area. Within minutes of our home, there are neighborhoods with multi-million dollar homes. As a result, my wife and I sometimes jokingly refer to our neighborhood as the “slums,” though by any objective measure, we are extremely fortunate. Nevertheless, at times we’ve found ourselves thinking “Gee, Mr. So-and-so drives a new BMW,” or “The Smiths are going to Europe again,” and then it’s hard not to think “Why not us?”

Ironically, others are probably looking at us and having similar thoughts.

Sadly, I think it’s human nature to focus on what we don’t have and throw ourselves a pity party, than to be appreciative for what we have. Then, out of the blue, you have an experience that shoves reality back in your face. (And no, I’m not talking about the kind of “reality” you see on Survivor—though admittedly I’m a little embarrassed to admit I am a closet Survivor fan.)

One such experience happened to me a couple of months back. A friend—a former co-worker—had just returned from volunteering at a refugee camp in Africa. Shockingly, this particular camp has more than 2 million inhabitants. The stories she told made the day-to-day “issues” we face seem so shallow. She conveyed stories of “homes” of 6-10 children all under the age of 12 living together with no parental supervision because the parents had died of disease. She told stories of severe hunger and starvation despite the fact that many of the world’s relief organizations are there trying to lend a hand. I could go on and on, but the point is this: while I think most of us want to believe that the worst suffering happened in the past, there are countless instances of suffering around the world today, and yet we don’t hear about it. Part of the reason we don’t hear about it is that it’s not reported—or at least not reported very often in the mainstream media. And admittedly, part of the reason is that we’re all too “busy” to take the time to learn what’s going on. Either way, “out of sight” generally equals “out of mind.”

Neither you nor I is going to be able to solve those issues alone. After all, what can we do compared to the efforts of the world’s largest relief organizations? But, we can do something. It may sound naïve or corny, but one life saved makes a difference. Please adopt the current LifeTango Challenge (Contribute To American Idol Gives Back Or A Similar Cause) and do something to build awareness or provide funding, however great or small, to help improve the situation, whether it be for one person or many.

I just found out that Nigel Lythogoe was the mastermind behind the “Idol Gives Back” progam.  The american idol crew is in a rush to finish to finish the video editing and preparing for the huge show.  There will be tons of famous performers coming together to help raise awareness and money for the less fortunate.

http://latimesblogs.latimes.com/showtracker/2008/04/nigel-lythgoe-s.html

We should all make an effort to give back to American Idol! 

Sign Up and take on our challenge to donate to American Idol this Year!!!

Contribute_To_American_Idol_Gives_Back_Or_A_Similar_Cause.html

This is an easy goal we can all achieve! Read our blog for more information!

American Idol Gives Back Blog

-Chris

TV Guid announces American Idol is down to the final 8 and starting tomorrow we can start giving back to and helping the Americal Idol Gives Back program.  Let’s all help out and give up a coffee a day.  We can start small and work our way up!

http://www.tvguide.com/tvshows/american-idol/100036

 Sign Up and take on our challenge to donate to American Idol

Contribute_To_American_Idol_Gives_Back_Or_A_Similar_Cause.html

 This is an easy goal we can all achieve!  Read our blog for more information! 

American Idol Gives Back Blog

-Chris

Ever watch 24?  If Jack can do it, so can you!  Ok… Well maybe we aren’t cut out for the job of Jack Bauer, but we can definately help give back.  Kiefer Sutherland is helping out, and so should you!

 http://www.24headquarters.com/2008/03/28/sutherland-to-give-backvia-american-idol/

 Sign Up and take on our challenge to donate to American Idol

Contribute_To_American_Idol_Gives_Back_Or_A_Similar_Cause.html

 This is an easy goal we can all achieve!  Read our blog for more information! 

American Idol Gives Back Blog

- Chris

Some of you may have noticed a number of goals that have been created recently that start out “I am loving …”  as in “I am loving traveling Europe and Africa” or “I am loving being a generous and thankful person.” These goals provide a great example for all of us who really want to accomplish something (and have a great time in the process).

Why is this such a great model for goals? First, these goals focus on the positive. Ultra-positive, in fact.  Not just “I enjoy …” or “I have achieved …” but rather “I am LOVING …”  Other potential powerful phrases could be

• “I am ecstatic to be …”
• “I am overjoyed to …”
• “I feel on top of the world …”

Each of these phrases conveys not only a sense of accomplishment, but sets a powerful, positive tone related to the goals people want to accomplish.

Next, each put the goal in the present tense. This is a positive physchological tool. If you focus too much on a goal as something that is always in your future, you may come to associate your goal with something you can never reach (because technically the future is always, well, in the future). Phrasing your goals in the present helps you begin to associate your goals with something you can accomplish now.

That said, another powerful tactic when setting goals is to specify a target date.  So how do you set a target date and yet still talk about your goals in the present tense? One idea is to phrase a goal as follows (or something like it): “On April 12, 2008, I am loving having saved $2,000 for a down payment on a car” or whatever your date and your goal might be.

Make it a great day!

Brent
LifeTango.com Chief Dream Officer

My family and I recently watched Akeelah and the Bee–a story about an inner-city girl who has a gift for spelling who makes it to the National Spelling Bee.  Not only could our family relate in our own small way (my wife’s youngest brother made it to the National Spelling Bee a couple years back), but it was entertaining.  My only gripe was that, from the best I can tell, it’s totally fictional.  I recognize that many movies that are “based on a true story” sometimes only slightly follow a true story, but at least there’s some element of truth to them.  (I had the same gripe about Goal-The Dream Begins–good story, but anyone can WRITE an inspirational story.  To me, it’s more inspiring if someone LIVED the story.)

Regardless, however, after the movie, my kids were going around asking for us to give them words to spell and one of my daughters actually wanted to read the dictionary.  And it struck me that movies can have an inspirational impact on our kids.  So my wife and I thought it would be a good idea to periodically watch inspirational movies–ideally based on true stories, but that isn’t mandatory–with our kids.

So I thought it would be a good idea to start a list of inspirational movies and ask for your help in building the list.  Here are a few that I can think of off the top of my head.  Please feel free to comment to add more to the list.

Cool Runnings (one of our family’s favorites)
Rudy
Miracle
Invincible
Akeelah and the Bee
Goal–The Dream Begins
Rocky I, II, III, and IV (I refuse to consider V and the jury is out on Rocky Balboa–at least in my opinion)

Let me know what others you feel are inspirational.

Brent

Last January, an estimated 45 million Americans, or approximately one in five adults, set an average of three New Year’s Resolutions each, according to a nationwide phone survey that we conducted here at LifeTango.com in December.

Battle of the “Bulge” and “Budget” Top the List

Of those setting resolutions, nearly three in four set a resolution related to diet, weight loss, or exercise.

The second most common resolutions were financial and budget-related.  Roughly two in five Americans who set resolutions hoped to control their spending or improve their financial situation.

Friends, Internet Offer Support

In the study, we found that people who set resolutions with another person were 40 percent more likely to accomplish those resolutions. As a result, we recommend finding a friend or family member who will work on a resolution with you.  LifeTango enables you to create a resolution and then invite a friend or family member to join you.  Then you can work on the resolution together.

Another suggestion is to write down your resolutions or record them on a computer or the internet.  Though only one in four people setting resolutions recorded them, those that did were 25 percent more likely to accomplish their goals.

“I started using LifeTango to work on a goal with my sister,” says Lovina Roundy of Monterey, Cal.  “But seeing some of the goals that others posted to the site made me realize I needed to adjust my life to match my priorities to take my daughter to the park more often and work on personal interests. For me, this is just the beginning.”

For Roundy and millions of other Americans, the new year dawns with the hope and resolve for a better, more fulfilling life in 2007.

The latest (and theoretically last) installment in the Rocky saga opens today. In a recent interview, Sylvester Stallone indicated that, in part, he wanted to make this film as an apology for Rocky V. (Personally, I’d be willing to get my money back, with 16 years interest at credit card rates, of course.) But whether this film is a winner or a flop, I owe the inspiration for today’s post to the Italian Stallion.

Recently, I re-watched Rocky IV and was surprised to catch a nugget of wisdom. Before leaving for Russia, Rocky is talking with his son and says:

“Going one more round when you don’t think you can, that’s what makes all the difference in your life.”

Unfortunately, life occasionally knocks us to the ground.  Whether it be illness, divorce, loss of employment, loss of friendship, or countless other things large or small, sadness and hurt come into our lives. But when we get back up and face our challenges, so often, we come out stronger and wiser. My encouragement to you today would be–go farther than you think you can; go one more round. In most instances (I’d even be willing to bet that in ALL instances), you’ll likely find hidden reserves of strength that you didn’t know you had.

And as someone who grew up in the Rocky era, kneeling at the side of my bed after seeing Rocky II and punching my mattress while pretending that I was fighting Apollo Creed, here’s to hoping that Rocky Balboa wins–not in the movie (that’s a foregone conclusion anyway, right?), but at the box office. Stallone’s taking a risk making this film, and I prefer to cheer for the risk-takers out there (after all, I hope they’re cheering for me as well).

For years, rock-climbing experts said that climbing to the top of Trango Tower in the Karakoram Himalayas couldn’t be done. Though “only” 20,500 feet high (roughly 10,000 feet lower than Everest), most of the ascent is straight up.

For other images of Trango Tower, click here http://images.google.com/images?hl=en&q=trango+tower&gbv=2

So when Todd Skinner said he was going to climb Trango Tower, everyone thought he was crazy.

But Skinner had a dream and a plan. His dream, of course, was to climb a peak that everyone said couldn’t be climbed. His plan was to begin making every “first ascent” he could. In rock climbing, a “first ascent” is a peak (or more often, a path to a peak) that no one has climbed before. His reasoning was that, by climbing first ascents, he would have to learn during the climb, and that would prepare him for the unknowns he would face on Trango Tower.

I had the great fortune of listening to a keynote that Skinner gave at a Microsoft Business Solutions seminar a couple years back. His narrative of the climb was mesmerizing. If you ever get the chance to hear him recount his experiences on Trango Tower, I’d highly encourage it.

As it relates to dreams, Skinner has said:

Whenever you can, you should base your goals on dreams, because the feel of a goal tied to a dream is entirely different from a goal without a dream–you are pulled instead of pushed. A dream is a motivational force that makes your destination worth going to. Even if the goal at hand is not your actual dream, if it moves you toward a dream on the horizon beyond, it can share the same lift. (Todd Skinner. Beyond the Summit. p23)

At times the goals we set are really more “tasks” or “things to do.” That’s not bad, but as Skinner notes, basing your goals on dreams can have a powerful, motivating effect. So this week’s LifeTango Challenge is to

Identify and Pursue Your Own “Trango Tower”

Of course, this goal is a metaphor for whatever your lofty, inspiring dream is.

In his narrative, Skinner refers to Dreams and supporting Goals. At LifeTango, you can create Goals and supporting Milestones. But regardless of the terminology, the key is to ensure that you set some lofty Dreams/Goals and then identify some more immediate Goals/Milestones that will move you closer to achieving your dream. (When you are viewing your Goal List in the My Tango section of the site, you can create a Milestone for a goal by clicking on “Add Milestone” to the right side of the goal.)

To adopt this goal, click on the following link and then click “Adopt This Goal,” which is listed in the righ-hand column.

LifeTango_Challenge_Identify_And_Pursue_Your_Own_Trango_Tower

Enjoy the climb!

Brent